Hope
These past January days have been grey, rainy and dreary. In spite of it, the view over Boise on my walk today still looked beautiful through my blurry dampness.
There were bunnies playing tag in the bushes, and birds singing a sweet song in the trees. All of the magnolia trees all have fuzzy buds on the tips of their branches. They lay in wait to announce a new season’s arrival.
Is it too early to be feeling a shift in the cold earth? Is it my imagination grasping at hopes of brighter, sunny days?
I find comfort in the fact that seasons change. Spring will come with promises of new life and green summer days to follow. It will not fail me.
While I restlessly wait, high places call my name.
Images from my birthday backpacking trip this past summer:
Jughandle’s false summit over Louie Lake.
Climbing straight up. McCall far down below.
She calls me Melba.
Mountains and good company = me a happy girl.
See Greg Run For Fun
This is Greg. One day in December Greg decided to run. He decided to run, just for fun.
He ran and ran while we enjoyed hot chocolate and beautiful, sunny December morning. It was a fun morning for all of us. :)
For those of you that don’t know, Greg has spent the past several months battling crazy flu-like symptoms. Sick from both ends.(From the tail end in particular.) It’s been mis.er.a.ble. for him. Right around Christmas time things got bad. There were good days, (his fun run was a good day) but mostly he just felt like poop all the time. Poop is probably the optimal descriptive word, because things were just down right poopy all the time…literally.
As we looked back on life, a pattern of Greg being similarly ill without passing it to anyone else began to emerge. It had never been so bad though, and it was getting worse. Concerns that something bigger was at play lead us to make a doctor’s appointment with a friend of ours. Blood was drawn, stool samples were collected, and cameras were run down his throat to his stomach and small intestine and up his…uhmm….well, he had a colonoscopy too. One could say he was examined from all angles.
The results: Greg has Celiac Disease. The treatment: Go completely gluten free.
How do we feel about this? It’s a nice combo of YAY!!!! and Uhgggg….
We are thrilled to have found the culprit, and a way to kick its butt. I am so excited for Greg to just. plain. FEEL. GOOD. He is already feeling so much better. We found out last Wednesday, and started making diet adjustments right away. Yesterday he went back to working out, and said it was the first time in a long, long time that he wasn’t dealing with cramping whilst sweating. That is HUGE and so awesome. Worth all the inconvenience. That being said, it is DARN inconvenient. (Here comes the “uhgggg….”) I spent the end of last week reliving some of the feelings that came when Miles was diagnosed with diabetes. Ie: Mourning the ease of a familiar lifestyle, and wondering what the “H” I was going to make for dinner. It’s been okay though. We’re lucky that we already eat a lot of meals made from scratch, and I’ve been able to find some of our old favorites that are already gluten free. I thought I was pretty good with nutrition labels, but have realized I’m going to have to be a super freak about reading them now. Greg has had a really good attitude about it all though, which has been helpful for me. I started a new recipe binder, and have been adding everything we try and like to it with the hope that meal planning will get easier. I also plan on saving all my actual weekly menus in it as well. With Miles I remember when we finally put a whole year behind us, things seemed so much easier. All the major food events had been experienced, and that perspective gave us confidence. I think this new binder will help give us that too. A year of good recipes and menus already planned will be awesome. I’m excited. In the meantime, if you have any gluten free recipes/blogs/cook books that you love, I would love to hear about them! My food world is feeling pretty complicated.
Today a friend sent us really yummy peanut butter cookies that had chocolate swirls on top. Sooo flippin’ good, and she sent the recipe too. Yay for nice people! It’s definitely a binder worthy recipe. :)
*Caution: Puke Pic In Post Below. Ye Faint Of Heart Be Warned! ARRRRRGGH!
I am about to share a lot of gross details. Just a heads up for you.
I do not throw up. I hate it. So I don’t do it. I don’t out of shear Quigley stubbornness. In 29 and a half years, the number of times I’ve thrown up due to illness has been less than I can count on two hands. My three pregnancies didn’t add much to that number. Some people vomit well…like Greg for example. He can just relax, get it out, and feel better. For me, it’s violent. Without fail, it explodes out my nose, and brings no relief.
A stomach bug hit our house this past weekend. It’s taken me to a zen, slow-moving turtle place. I stop, breathe and concentrate through the urges to loose it, and then continue on being a mom. …and it all started with this:
This is how we found Eve at 12:30 am Sunday morning. (Who sleeps through that?!) We cleaned her up, and I spent the remainder of the night sleeping on the floor next to her holding a bucket. Dear, sweet girl.
Bright and early the next morning, I got up to shower and go to Stake Conference. We’d decided maybe I should go by myself, and honestly, I was quite looking forward to that. When I was ready to go, I peeked in on the kids only to discover Miles sleeping in a pile of his own vomit. (What the what?! Again, who does that?!!) Poor boy was fine all night, and I felt so bad that I was in the shower when he needed me. My children definitely do not have my iron stomach.
Greg says the best training to be a parent he got, was all his years of working at Six Flags. Cleaning up bodily fluids is just another day at the park. I’m so grateful that he just takes all that stuff in stride. He’s a wonderful man. I knew the children were in great hands as I walked out the door.
I started feeling funny during conference, but I was fairly sure it was due to a hard night. When it took me forever to make dinner that evening, and I could barely eat any of it, I knew I was sick too.
Monday was full of nuggling, (snuggling) watching movies by the Christmas tree, blog reading/writing, friends doing nice things for us, and Greg handling everything when he got home. Basically, we were lazy bums. By evening, the kids were on the mend. I’m not far behind them. Today, I got ready for the day. The wash has been started, meals are being planned, and music lessons will be attended. It’s another day in motherhood. As always, we have music helping us push through it. We took a break from the Christmas tunes this morning so the likes of Eddie Vedder could serenade me. I love his slower stuff…sometimes the harder stuff too. :) I’m sure that comes from years spent in the same house with my brother, Lee.
Hope you are all able to avoid the barfs this season! So sorry to any of you I may have unknowingly infected at Stake Conference. I’m sure you’ll have some extra immunity points because you went. You should be good. *wink* :)
When Things Get A Little Too Hairy…
Confession: I take a lot of cell phone pictures of myself, because well, let’s keep it real here, I’m a little vain. However, my narcissism comes in handy at times. It’s a rare occasion for me to actually be in front of our family camera…unless I make Greg take pictures of me. It’s not that I don’t want to be in pictures, (I am a firm believer that moms and dads should routinely be photographed no matter how you think you look, because those images will be treasures to your kids and grandchildren.) it’s just that I’m always the one taking pictures.
Today I was looking for a pic of my long hair, and it was taking too long to search and search our files for one, so of course I just resorted to my celly. (SEE? HANDY!) There was a problem though…my hair was so freakishly long that it’s hard to find an image displaying its full lengthy glory. Yes, you read correctly…”was” so freakishly long.
I’ve been wearing my hair long for quite some time now. In fact, I have never been so satisfied with the same style for so long. I loved my lengthy tresses, and went without feeling my usual hankerings for a change for a really long time. It grows pretty fast, and had reached the bottom of my bra line. Longer than I have ever had it before, but honestly, it had gotten too long, too heavy, too blah. I can’t even describe it, but one day I just felt like it was time. Time for something new.
Here’s my dirty locks, capped, ponied, and ready to go to the salon on Thursday. That’s a nice thing about having a friend cut it. She sees my hair all the time, and knows how I style it and what problems I have with it. So there was no pressure to really do my hair before going to see her.
She asked a million questions to make sure I was really ready…
…then BAM! There was twelve and a half inches of my mane on the table.
An inch or two more off to shape it, and I’d say we have ourselves a change! :)
It was the weirdest. feeling. EVAH. to run my hands through it, and have nothing there! I’m very happy with it though, and the weirdness it already wearing off. My friend did an amazing job. Now I’m just getting used to styling it.
My new bed hair is pretty fantastic. I’d forgotten just how crazy it used to get. (No worries, just bleachin’ my ‘stach…it’s not a sleepy/kooky faced milk advertisement.) I was really pleased with how well my crazy coif tamed though. I threw it into a braid, whipped out some curls with the flat iron. The curls got a little too “I’m twelve” looking, but still, nice to know I can still get away with two day hair!
I feel like my hair and I finally hit our stride on Sunday. I’m loving it.
These are a couple pictures I showed my stylist friend. (The left is Caitlin from hue and hum. I’m a huge fan of her hair, her art, her blog, her cute dog and her husband’s music.) (PS: This is one of my very favorite pieces by Lady Hue. It means something different to me than her inspiration, and I don’t have my long hair anymore, but it speaks to a deep part of me. I love it.) Anywho, the end product of my chop far exceeded my expectations.
It’s just (me) in a new way. :)
Friends, Love and Inappropriate Touching
In life, there are people you quite like, and then there are people you really enjoy. Relationships with the latter become something special when they can pass the test of time. When no matter how long it’s been, you can still pick right back up where you left off.
(And when you can do that “picking back up” along the shores of a high mountain lake, well…that’s just freakin’ awesome! That’s what that is.)
I was blessed to have truly, lovely friends in jr. high and high school, and to this day, I still genuinely enjoy getting together with them.
When my sweet friend, Emily, announced her wedding would be held this past October at Redfish Lake, I thought, “I will be there. Come hell or high water!” So I went, and three of my other friends did too.
Our visit was SHORT, but ever so sweet. I LOVE these women! They are so easy to be around. Laughs are always plentiful. :)
Emily’s wedding was BEAUTIFUL! I have been enamored with the Sawtooth Mountains and Red Fish Lake since I was a little girl. Emily has long dreamed of a wedding there on the beach, and it was a privilege to witness her dream come true. What a view!!
Emily- You. looked. radiant. Congratulations to you and Jason again!!! You are such a genuine and giving person…Jason is lucky to have you. You are lucky to have each other! I love ya, Girl!! One of the crappy things about me not being on facebook is not having regular contact with you. I miss that! I hope that all is going well!
After the ceremony, we all got a little camera happy. Here’s smoochy face Dana giving her newborn boy a bottle. Dana- Your silly side is the best! There’s no one better to just let loose with. You’ve always cracked me up. Consequently, you are a part of many, many, MANY of my favorite memories. :)
Tasha - How do you look that cute pregnant?! You’re a beachy, blond, prego bomeshell! I’ll be in town for Christmas. Can I come hug on your newborn? :) I’ll call you!
I love this picture. I can hear the laugh, and love the classic raised brows saying, “You are seriously so weird, Melinda! Do you really need to be that close to me?!” :) Lauren- What can I say? You’ve been my longest, besty friend. You are beautiful, kind and have the most sincere heart of anyone I know. I will always feel a sister like bond for you and Dana. I’m so glad that you two were such good friends with Tasha and Emily so they could become part of my life too.
Thank you so much, Girls, for being there way back when, and still today! I can’t wait till next time! Hopefully next time more of us can come. :)
My little sister, Reese, came with me to the wedding. As we pulled away to leave, she simply said, “I love your friends.” I thought that was so cool. It was a great reminder to take a moment and just appreciate how incredibly lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life.
Speaking of wonderful people…Reese is the bomb. She and Jordan camped with us that weekend. We stayed one lake over at Alturas Lake. One of the best moments of the weekend was being able to steal away with her for a moment between the ceremony and reception. We just sat on the beach, listened to the water lap on the shore, and discussed life as we looked over the mountains. She is such an amazing soul, and I love how we can speak heart to heart. Plus, she makes a pretty hot wedding date. She even let me get to second base! Hahaha!
I don’t know exactly what was happening in these pictures, but they had me laughing SO HARD when I looked back through them. I’m very much glad we have this nerdyness documented. Ow OW!! Hahahaha!!!!
School
I’ve had a bunch of people inquire about how school is going for the boys, (specifically about Miles and diabetes) so I figured I should do an update for all y’all.
In a nutshell: Both boys love school. They can hardly wait to jump out of the car in the morning. For them, school is thebomb.com.
Brenden’s teacher is fantastic. I was a bit nervous to see how he would do this year. He grew so much in first grade. A lot of credit for that goes to his wonderful first grade teacher. I hoped this new one would help keep things moving in the right direction. I’m happy to report that thus far our experience has exceeded expectations. I couldn’t be more pleased with where he’s at. He’s on mark in every way. I’m so proud of him. My schedule has been such that I can volunteer in Brenden’s class once a week. I help run his little reading group, and we’ve both liked it a lot. It’s been fun to be able to observe him in his school world for the first time.
Brenden did get sent to the assistant principles office a couple weeks ago, but since it was for playing his butt like a guitar in the lunch room, we decided not to care. The A.P. made such a big deal out of it that I’m sure he won’t be a repeat offender. Hilarious! I’ve mentioned before that B likes to boogie, right? :)
Miles taught himself a valuable lesson about friction a couple days before school started. He placed his forehead on a rapidly rotating wheel, and gave himself a big ol’ burn. (Good one, Miles.) I wish I had video of the incident. It was really something amazing. Picture a Big Wheel bike upside down on the porch…Miles sitting on a small chair with the hard, plastic front wheel between his knees…both hands on the pedals, making the wheel spin as fast as he possibly can…then slowly bowing his head down to make contact. The look of pure confusion he gave as he came back up has me shaking with laughter now as I think about it again. I guess you probably had to be there. :)
Miles has been ready to attend school with Brenden for two years now. Having Brenden move on to bigger and better things without him has really chapped his hide. To say he was excited to finally start kindergarten is an understatement. It was the best day of his life. It took him about two seconds to make friends with the whole class. He definitely doesn’t struggle in the “putting yourself out there” department. He loves to be in the center of the action.
As far as diabetes goes…jeez, where to begin?
It is…okay?
Yeah, “okay” works.
Well…maybe “okay” is the wrong way to say it.
It’s mostly great…but sometimes really, REALLY awful.
As far as Miles is concerned, it’s been great. He gets a lot of attention from people (kids and adults alike) for his testing skills and knowledge of what he needs. Right now he loves that. Plus, if he ever gets bored, all he has to do is hint something is wrong, and he gets out of class. (A trick he puts to use all too often…already. I expected those kind of shenanigans in jr. high not kindergarten!)
My behind the scenes experience has been a little more bumpy.
There have been bad moments. Like the time I had a feeling to go into school with Miles, and found an unexpected substitute teacher that knew nothing about him, his needs, or anything about diabetes in general. That was pretty fantastic. (I was furious.) There have been self administered guilt trips for numbers that aren’t perfect. (I’ve got to get over that.) There has been unwanted advice, and suggestions from people who have been dealing with diabetes for two seconds. That’s been hard, because I’ve realized Miles will have to deal with stereo-types and people who have opinions, but not necessarily knowledge, for the rest of his life. Speaking of people, there was the day I had to meet with the principle, the school nurse, and the heath tech to discuss how I think the heath tech is incompetent. That was terrible. My Dad’s name is Dale. A favorite Dale-ism is, “You don’t know your butt!” The heath tech is a woman who for sure does not know her butt. Nothing gets me whipped up into frenzy faster than talking about that woman. Say the term “heath tech” around me, and you’re likely to get an earful. There’s just no way to slice it…Miles is not safe in her care.
However, there have been wonderful things happening too. Miles’ teacher might not get it all, but she is supportive and accommodating. Our principle has a child with diabetes also, and I really feel like she has our backs. Having common ground on this issue has made a huge difference. Our school nurse is heaven sent, and is 100% committed to keeping Miles safe and happy at school. She has completely re-arranged her schedule so we don’t have to deal with the heath tech anymore. I feel like we’re on the right track.
One of the nicest happenings has been having people who have been there just when I needed them. Whether it be for watching kids while I attend to issues, lending an ear for me to unload on, or sharing a good laugh. I have wonderful friends.
It is going to be a successful 2011-2012 school year.
This morning I woke up with lioness hair and major bags under my eyes. So I took pictures. Why not? Then I put on the first thing I could find, (my trusty old, worn-out yoga pants and a running shirt) pulled my hair-nest back into a pony tail, called yesterday’s make-up good, and took the kids to school. Autopilot.
I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I’ve always dreamed in technicolor, but my midnight mind movies have gotten super funky and/or freaky these past few months. They wake me up a lot, and then I’m just left staring out the window alone with my thoughts. I make mental to-do lists. I think back on the previous day. I think about my church calling. I think about mountain tops, my friends, Greg, and the kids. All with no particular order, rhyme or reason. Think think think. Blah. My brain betrays my sleepy self.
Last night I thought a lot about Brenden. He’s growing up into such an amazing boy. His imagination is truly something to envy. Saturday morning I woke up to the rustling of legos coming from the other room. Then Brenden bounded in to say good morning with his newest creation.
The vampire hippo: complete with blood-ed teeth and intimidating black cape.
Awesome right?! I heard him telling Miles about a book with a vampire rabbit named Bunnicula before he came in, so I can only assume his derived his inspiration from that. Yay for cell phone cameras, and pictures of his ravenous hippopotamus! When he left my room he declared, “I’M AN AMAZING LEGO ARTIST!!” haha! It made my morning.
Yesterday, Greg told me a friend came up to him, and said something to the effect of, “I’m so impressed with your son, Brenden. The other night at the scouting function, I asked Brenden if he would like to drink soda or milk. Brenden chose milk. He said his little brother couldn’t have soda, so he wouldn’t either.” Of course, I just about started bawling. When I gave Miles insulin for his cake and milk that night, I had no idea his brother smiling next to him had made that little sacrifice. We would have never known if this friend hadn’t told Greg. I noticed Brenden was listening to Greg tell me the story, so I asked him about it. He beamed as he confirmed everything. I said, “Brenden, do you know what you showed Miles that night?” His eyes got big. “You showed him that you love him.” “I know!” he chirped with a smile. Miles was sitting nearby at the table listening to every word. It was a big deal, and you could tell it meant the world to him. :) …and I thought my heart was bursting with pride at B’s lego building skills.
Brenden likes himself, and he is creative and kind. What more could I ask for?
Last night I was also thinking about how I should put some Halloween pictures up on the blog before it’s Christmas. Look at me… actually acting on one of my mental to-do lists. I’m so proud of me. :)
This year, Brenden was Harry Potter. I love that we’ve reached the Harry Potter stage. Eve went as a Pumpkin Witch, but ditched her hat any chance she could. Miles wore a different costume for every party we went to. He was a lion at our Diabetes Association party, he was Luigi at our ward trunk-or-treat, and he dressed up as Captain Hook on Halloween to walk around the neighborhood.
We forgot Brenden’s lightning scar for the trunk-or-treat. His red hair made him look a bit like Ron in Harry’s glasses, but his personality can sell any costume. I wish I would have gotten video. This cell phone pic does him a little more justice though.
Here’s Eve with her hat at her little music class.
The kids got loaded down with lots of candy. Miles was pumped about it.
Some crazy lady kept hanging around us when we were trunk-or-treating.
Boy was she sexy though!
Three cheers for me actually blogging!! Hip hip hooray!
Of Rocks And Faith
The day Miles was diagnosed with diabetes (about three years ago), was the day that I started worrying about sending him to school. How in the world was I ever going to trust public school to care for him? So many things could go wrong with substitutes, music time, P.E., recess, and library. All very worrisome. I felt an overwhelming sense of compassion and admiration for some friends of ours. Their daughter not only had special needs, but was blind as well. I sought their council, asking how they were able to send their sweet girl into the hands of others, knowing she could not advocate for herself. How did they know that she would be ok? What if something terrible happened, and they lost her? The husband almost laughed at me, and said, “So what if it did?! Listen, do you believe in the Plan or do you not? If so, then it really doesn’t matter.” I was dumbfounded, hurt, and horrified for about five minutes. It felt like a LONG five minutes. However, it was ultimately the very best thing anyone could have ever said to me. He reminded me that I after I had prepared in every way, I needed to trust in my Heavenly Father’s protection. Then if my worst case scenario happened, I could find peace and comfort in the Plan of Salvation: We lived together before we came to Earth, we have a purpose here, and we can live again as families when we leave this mortal life. I realized if I really believed that (and I did. Still do.), then I had to prepare, and know that it would all be okay. I knew it was going to take a lot for me to be able to surrender what I couldn’t control to the Lord, but I found a lot of comfort in our conversation that day.
Over the years, periods of worry have come and gone. I have been able to push them to the back of my mind, thinking I’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Sunday night I sat on my bed thinking about all that needed to be prepared for Miles’ first day of kindergarten on Wednesday. Suddenly, I was halfway across the bridge and the weight of all the worry and fear hit me full force. I may or may not have sobbed myself to sleep.
On Monday night I had a conversation, with a woman I respect a great deal, about an experience we had at girls camp. It was completely unrelated to diabetes. This was the experience: A friend of ours arranged for the young women to go on a special hike early one morning. One at a time, each girl was given an empty, bright yellow bag, and was told it represented her life. Then she was sent up the trail alone. Every so often, there was someone who would stop her, and load her bag with trials (aka: rocks). They were personal, and they were heavy. While trudging up the trail, with her ever-growing load, she would encounter a friend, parents, a YW leader, and a bishop who would encourage or help her. None could take her burden on completely, and their help was very temporary.
I watched as one girl’s shoulders visibly shook with emotion and fatigue as she climbed to the highest point on her journey. It was very hard to watch. At that moment, the trail turned down into a narrow valley. The smallness of it made it very intimate, and it was stunningly green and beautiful. A voice singing I Stand All Amazed rose over the sound of a nearby brook.
A short walk, and a parting in the trees on the other side of the brook, revealed an image of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane with two messages from the scriptures.
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee. ~Palms 55:22
Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ~Matthew 11:28-29
Here each girl could physically lay down her burdens at the feet of the Lord. It was a powerful visual and physical lesson of just how the atonement works. It was an incredible experience for the girls, and all the adults involved as well.
As my friend and I talked about how awesome it was, she mentioned what a great reference tool it’s already been for her. Her daughter just went through a hard, hard breakup before coming home from college for the summer, and was still having a difficult time with it. They’ve been able to talk about how truly casting burdens upon the Lord does not mean you keep going back to the bag to rummage through the rocks. That’s when it hit me…I’m a rummager. Just when I think I’ve turned things over to the Lord, I go pick half my rocks back up. I do it with my fears, I do it with financial issues, I do it in my marriage, I do it in my parenting, ect. ect. ect. I’ve never thought about how I behave in those terms. It’s funny, I often find that lessons learned in young womens are generally more for the leaders themselves than for the girls. This was a perfect example of that.
Today I met with the school nurse, and got our plan all in order. Tomorrow I will take pictures, kiss Miles goodbye, and leave him at his classroom door. It’ll all be okay.
I am going to practice casting, and leaving my bags.
Did you know…
…our little Eve turned THREE in June?!!! I KNOW!! I can’t believe it either. She just gets more and more fun/cute/sassy the older she gets. Greg, Brenden, Miles and I all adore her, and she knows it.
From the moment she woke up, she was grinning and giggling about it being her “bir-day”. Aren’t little kids the best when it comes to celebrating?! Eve was just exuding joy all day. She absolutely loved having everyone wish her a happy birthday at church.
Then she about went bananas when she opened the jungle animals Grandma and Grandpa H. got for her. We brought out her tree house/doll house so she could get right down to the business of playing.
The afternoon was totally chill. We hung out while she’d open something, and just watch while she explored it. Eve currently loves anything to do with animals (especially horses), farms and castles. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that she hasn’t played with these new animals in her jungle. (Madison- She madly loves your old tree house!!)
Around last Christmas I found a huge Little Peoples castle set at a children’s resale store for crazy cheap. I was done with her Christmas shopping so I tucked it away for her birthday.
It had horses, and princesses, and dragons, OH MY!! :) It was so worth buying and hiding.
All three kids didn’t leave the front room until dinner time.
Eve wore the horsey party hat we made for days after. She’s been asking me for another birthday ever since. :) I’m thinking I need to look forward to my next birthday with that much excitement.
